A week after Dagmar’s suicide attempt, and with her safely secured in a Catonsville fruit farm, I got a phone call from her brother.
Tim said that he was coming into town from California, and asked me to pick him up from the train station. I have no idea why he was coming in by Amtrack and I didn’t ask. I was mostly depressed that with Tim’s arrival, I would lose the use of Dagmar’s car.
On the day he came in, I was waiting outside of the station terminal for him. I had never met Tim before and figuring out which guy he was from those disembarking was no easy task. Eventually, we made contact and had an uncomfortable ride back to Dagmar’s Highlandtown rowhouse. Tim wanted to get settled, showered and changed, before we made the drive into Catonsville to a psychiatric hospital to see Dagmar. It would be the first time I had seen or talked to her since the night she tried to lop her hand off.
The hospital in which she was staying, Spring Grove, was like a childhood ghost story for me. Growing up in the area, there were always rumors that a deranged mental patient from Spring Grove had escaped and was on a murdering spree. In all the time I’d lived there, I had never driven up to the hospital, though it was practically right behind my high school.
Tim and I pulled into the hospital parking lot about 5 p.m. and surprisingly it wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be. I remember feeling silly for being afraid to set foot on the campus. It was in a pretty spot up a windy tree-lined road. The lawns were manicured, and the buildings modern. There was nothing spooky about this place.
We went inside and after telling a receptionist who we were there to see, she had us sign in and then directed us to a clean, brightly lit common area where I suppose visitors visited. The room was filled with stereotypical psychiatric patients and their guests. Women who stared with blank eyes, men who spoke in a childish language that only their families seemed to understand. There was one man who shuffled back and forth in front of the window, talking to himself. Not one soul in that room looked like a deranged killer. They mostly looked lost and it made me sad to see them.
Dagmar, her left wrist still in a bandage, came into the room and she rushed into her brother’s arms. They hugged for a bit, then Tim put his hands on Dagmar’s shoulders and held her away from him. They smiled and told each other that the other looked good.
Dagmar came to me next and we hugged.
“How are you doing, hon,” I said quietly into her ear.
“I’m good,” she said back, “It’s not too bad here.”
There was an empty round table near the doors of the room, and the three of us sat down. I can’t remember what we talked about, but after a bit Dagmar suddenly said she needed to talk to Tim alone. She told him there was a room off to the side where’d they’d have privacy, and the brother and sister disappeared behind the door.
I sat alone at the table, chewing my fingernails and trying not to stare at the guy pacing in front of the window. I eavesdropped on the conversation of a family behind me. I stared at the door that the Jensens had vanished behind.
It was about a half hour later, that I heard the door beginning to open and glanced over. Tim emerged first, pale and sweaty. He looked at me briefly and then looked away. Dagmar walked out behind him smiling. When our eyes met, she smiled wider. As they drew closer, I heard Dagmar tell Tim there was a bathroom outside the common area. He said nothing, and walked briskly out of the room as Dagmar sat down at the table across from me.
“He’s freaked out,” she said.
“Well, this is a lot to absorb,” I replied. “You’re family really hasn’t heard from you in a while and here you are because you tried to kill yourself. I’d be freaked out too, except I saw you in your basement.”
Dagmar chuckled a bit. Then she started to talk about Ted.
“You know, he was lying to me about everything,” she said shrugging. “He told me he was divorced, but I found out he had a wife. I also found out he lived with a girlfriend.”
“Ouch, really,” I said reaching across the table to touch her hand. “How do you know?”
“The cops told me,” she said. “And I suspected something was going on. The only thing we ever really did when we got together was have sex, and that was always at either my house, or a house he had in Woodlawn that was filled with boxes. He kept telling me he lived there, but it didn’t look like anyone lived there. It looked like it was for storage.It really pissed me off.”
“That sucks,” I said. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, me too,” she said sadly.
Then she leaned across the table and whispered something to me.
“What?” I said, shaking my head and squinting my eyes, as if that would help me hear better — or maybe make what I thought I’d heard her say, turn into something else.
“Why do I tell the police I took a gun to Ted’s office?” She asked.
It was what I thought I heard her say. I froze. What the hell was she talking about?
“Why do you tell the police you took a gun to Ted’s office?” I repeated. And she quickly nodded yes.
I didn’t know how to answer that question. I didn’t think to ask any follow up questions. I was dumbfounded and suddenly felt like Tim had looked, pale and sweaty. My heart was pounding. I was scared. Dagmar stared at me waiting for a response.
What do I say? What is she saying? In retrospect I would have done a thousand things differently, namely ask her what she meant. Or act like I hadn’t heard her. But instead, I did the obvious, I answered her.
“Tell them you took it to scare him?” I said, but it sounded like a question.
“And then what,” she said.
“And then you accidentally shot him?” I said-asked again.
Tim came back to the table and Dagmar sat up, startled.
“You okay, brother,” she said reaching up to touch his arm.
“Oh yeah, I’m ok. You ready to go, I’m tired,” he said toward me. But he didn’t look into my eyes.
“Ok,” I said too quickly and jumped up.
We said our goodbyes and Dagmar asked how her dogs were doing. Tim said they were fine and he would take care of them now, but I knew that was a lie. He had told me on the ride to Spring Grove that he was going to get rid of them all. I wanted to tell Dagmar. I knew she would be upset. But I also knew she was probably in this hospital for a bit longer.
And then, who knew what was in store for her.
